that saying about “never say never” has it’s value, except in one single instance. which I’ve experienced on many an occasion, realizing that yup, it isn’t always good to do so – each time i do it heh…
I have learned to never believe in something so strongly and with so much hope, that indeed, the potential of disappointment, may be difficult to accept. Of course, that also seems to go hand in hand with my not holding onto something so tightly that God has to rip it from my cold dead fingers hahah
[so this blog editor app, is making real happy faces, instead of just your standard : ) ones which I want… note to self: reset that, cuz it’s annoying.]
anyway. Yeah. I did it again. I have had a quiet belief in someone, who really was more of my perception, than their nature, though I still believe (cuz i’m probably an idiot), that they merit that faith, in spite of their actions, or choices, based upon their own perceptions, whatever they may be.
and yup, I’m writing this so it’s a pretty safe bet that I’m the only one understanding the what where and why of it.
but then i’m writing this for me, as a journal. not to you the reader, and hopefully, there aren’t any more readers of this, after having ignored it for over almost 2 years…
one could hope.
I’m going to start writing in here again. my thoughts, for my own sake, and who cares if you all read it, you can’t comment anyway, and i don’t want the comments, cuz as I said, its just my journal, which has the unique advantage of just being out there for anyone to read.
actually, i wonder about that… i have been writing a blog when there was still this blog called live journal, and i remember, that i was one of the first few thousand people, were on it, and whoever owned/ran it back then, would actually correspond through email, and communicate, personally, before this became a popular internet thing. though of course now, a lot of blogs are marketing tools, and have lost the point of blogging all together.
however, I don’t care. I’m still going to write, in the manner I’ve always written where I’m just thinking (or vomiting as the case may be on occasion), onto a little white page, cuz i can… with the convenience of having all the comments, and interactivity disabled, in order to not have to listen to anyone else’s editorials, who have no idea who I am, in any fashion, to be in a position to make a commentary, when nothin they do can/will affect my life, and nothing I do/say, can/will affect their life.
there is a nice advantage to not taking myself too seriously, where I think i need to give my opinion, unsolicited, to no one, i do not know haha.
though i promise. the random idiot comments? yeah i’ll let them through, so that I can post them for you, with a link back to this reminding you that yeah, you don’t know me, so i don’t care what you think. we’ll never meet, so whatever. be important in your own little space on earth. leave mine alone 
(that deserved an annoying obnoxious in your face, smiley face haha)
ahhh! that actually felt better to say. cuz dammit, i say that stuff in real life, and not only do people, not have the balls they’d have on here, but they also are rather 
instead of the anonomous “well he can’t see me, and I’m safe behind my monitor and keyboard, so i’m going to tell them what for!!! cuz that’s wrong!” when in their day to day lives, they’ll take it up the ass, like impotent idiots, because well.. they are only honest, when it won’t cost them anything.
nah man. where is life without a little bit of risk. and besides, its fun. haha
cheers to you!
