You know, today I was thinking about something that I thought was just infantile, and well, obviously i forgot about it when i was at work, because I’m working on a project that I’m enjoying, and I had a day of many great accomplishments, at surprisingly record speeds. I’d get into it, but really, even other programmers get glazed eyes when I show it to them, and get this whole impotence thing in their eyes, that I rather can’t be bothered…
anyway, I was walking after work and the birds were chirping and the wind was calm and I was feeling quite good about myself today, with the direction that my life is taking.
And after summarily dismissing this infant who’s whine is louder than her ability, I sat back and did not much of anything, but my mind wandered. It wandered to things that I like, and things that go along with the sense of peace that I have these last few months, and I thought I’d share a few of them, with some of you.
I like getting up first thing in the morning before the sun has peaked through the darkness… closing my eyes and just listening to the sounds. Not thinking, not “preparing” for the day, but just sitting there quietly and listening to life, beyond the narcissistic world of “me” (actually I’m anything but narcissistic, but well, that was a shot to anyone who is that self focused heh).
You know what i hear all the time? Well the wind casually blows through the trees, and you can hear the leaves rustling, and the birds are all starting to chirp, and yet all of it sounds so out of tune, like an orchestra plucking strings on their respective instruments, with that entire disjointed sound one hears, in preparation for the conductor to appear.
And I’ve noticed, almost like it’s organized, that the birds, the wind, the leaves all seem to coordinate, and then come together into a crescendo, bursting to a perfectly tuned sonata, just as the sun breaks from the horizon… it’s a euphoric feeling, because I can feel my body, my spirit, my senses, come together with the nature that is happening around me.
I recommend it actually, though in truth it takes discipline to not think at all, and just hear and listen, without random injections of irrelevance.
Another thing I like is watching a woman stretch as she has just awoken, and that moment just before she opens her eyes. That is probably the most attractive and embracing visual, and when – at least i think so – when a woman looks the most beautiful. It’s like watching a flower, when the sun rises, slowly uncurling it’s petals to embrace the sunshine which has peaked over the horizon, to warm her.
I like the first sip of perfectly blended coffee, with just the right amount of sugar, cream and vanilla, with that warm dark beige colour, as the scent wafts up my nose. I usually let my coffee sit for a second, so it’s not too hot, and hold it in my hands, just inhaling the aroma.
I love the giggle of little children, and how they are so easily amused at absolutely nothing at all, or when i make eye contact with them and they get that mischievous little “i see you, but you can’t see me” game that they play. It’s amusing, and fun to encourage.
Or when I’ll do that little eyebrow raise with both my eyebrows at them, and then they’ll forget they’re hiding, and you can see them try to copy it, all serious and concentrating to duplicate it, which of course they rarely manage, but it’s oh so cute to watch them try, and i always have to make sure that I don’t laugh, as I smile at them.
I like the crisp feeling when my shirts are delivered from the dry cleaners, and that smell that they have.
I love the way my bedroom smells when I come home from work, and the scent of my cologne is still lightly wafting around the room (it’s good cologne, and my fan keeps it alive in my room for some reason, even though I leave the windows open… haven’t figured out why that is, but i don’t mind it, it’s vanilla).
i love the way my skin feels when i use the brush to wake up my still fast asleep skin, when I’m in the shower, and how it tingles and feels like I’m removing all the dead of yesterday. The feeling of newness and clean!
I love eating peanut butter from a spoon, with Hershey’s chocolate.
I do at least a couple of these things everyday, because i learned long ago, that anyone who spends all their mind on frivolities such as their angst, live their lives in chaos and fear, and the freedom to being alive, is to embrace the life that exists whether or not we notice it.
that starting my day this way, keeps reality in perspective for me, and whatever it is that I think is so bad, suddenly I don’t remember, and I have to make an effort to actually give time to it.
Life is too short to have a cause about everything, or to act out our perceived drama and global “issues” and “problems” or devote ourselves to writing about the wrongs and woes of the world.
These things will always exist, and have existed from the dawn of man. They won’t change or go away, because of the nature of man. That is just the long and the short of it.
I prefer to be the change I want to see in the world, and that is a large part to why I have stopped blogging. Anyone can vent by hammering passionately on their keyboard, and expelling the vomit which is their inner angst. It takes a living breathing contributor to the good of society, to actually step out everyday and do something different, even if it’s just one thing.
I know that there is one pure truth in the essence of humanity. And it is the following:
It is not what happens to us which defines us, but rather, how we choose to act, and function because of that event. The greatest most powerful single attribute of existence in all the universe is free will. And what we do, and say, and how we choose to function, whether in joy, or in misery, is a description of our hearts. Joy is a more honourable thing to have in ones heart. Misery, indignation, “righteous” anger, and the pursuit of “causes” are only a shroud to the joy we wish we had.
And both are expressed in our blogs, our minds, our eyes, and our lives. Don’t be one of those dead people walking with lifeless saddened eyes, going through the motions.
Choose to be alive.
so maybe you should write down the things that you love, just to keep things in perspective for your own existence, and you will draw good to you, and not evil. For if you live with fear and angst in your heart, that is all you will attract.
