So I was thinking about the different aspects of the art of conversation between men and women and find that I have – as a nature of my dysfunction – found more entertaining answers to the standard fare ‘is this person partner material” kinds of questions, which of course, seem to occur between men and women…

My favourite is “Have you ever been married?” to which I always answer, “yes” which is always then followed by the next questions of “any children?” to which I generally answer, yes she was now that you bring it up… heh as that is my sense of humour…

However, mostly though has anyone else noticed the interesting top 100 conversation questions that folks like to ask to open dialogue toward small talk?  I thought for the fun of it, I’d do a quick search online and see what Google would produce and here are some of the entertaining results which gave me a bit of a chuckle.

But first, of course… I will give a definition properly provided by Wikipedia:

A conversation opener is an introduction used to begin a conversation. They are frequently the subject of guides and seminars on how to make friends and/or meet people of the opposite sex. Different situations may call for different openers (e.g. approaching a stranger on the street versus meeting them at a more structured gathering of people with like interests).

So there you have it. I standard bottled concise little boxed expletive to lay the foundations of what is and isn’t a conversation opener.

For the fun of it, i thought that I’d lay down what the “experts” declare are excellent conversation openers for both genders, in order to meet someone of the opposite sex. Though personally I for one would never put that much work into it, since I’ve never had any trouble meeting members of the opposite sex, nor do I really think that this should be the focus of anyone, let alone me.  I’m a programmer, I think in syntax, not quite adept beyond my typing and written skills.

None the less, we’ll start off with what is considered the top 20 best ways to approach a man if you’re a woman who is interested (according to the ezinearticles.com).

I will have little comments to each of them to entertain myself mostly, and of course you can comment and I’m sure you’ll have a few of your own, though try to have enough sense to answer the proper gender defined questions ok?

1. “I don’t think I’ve seen you here before. Are you new to town?”
James would answer if not interested: “Oh, I’m actually lost. Do you know where the STD clinic is? I was sure it was suppose to be at this address…”

2. “Hello. How are you?” This conversation opener is simple, it’s direct, and it gets the job done.
James would answer if not interested: “Oh God you have no idea! My dog was just hit by a car, and the asshole here at the counter isn’t going to give me a garbage bag and dustpan so I can go outside and scrape my poor puppy off the concrete!” (she should be gone before i finish…)

3. “What do you think about this (band, speaker, whatever happens to be around for him to have an opinion on)?”
James would answer if not interested: “I can’t hear a word you’re saying, the band is too loud!” or “shhhhh I can’t here the speaker geez! I paid money for this!”

4. “Excuse me, I was wondering if you know how to get my (cell phone, laptop, etc.) to __________ . A good topic question for men especially since most of them love tinkering with gadgets and technology in general.
James would answer if not interested: “Sure but well, you’ll have to make an appointment and I charge 150$/hour, so will you be paying cash or charge?”

5. “I really like your shirt. A compliment is a great way to start am good conversation.
James would answer if not interested: “yes well you’re drinking and it’s pretty dark in here…”

6. “So, what brings you here?”
“The rest room”

7. “Excuse me, do you know where the _____ is?” (restroom, the valet parking stand, ATM, etc.).
“No, sorry, I don’t work here”

8. “Is anyone sitting here?” This gets a conversation started and assures you a seat at his table.
James answer both ways, “yes of course! You are! (if not interested, get up and leave with a smile as soon as she sits down).

9. “How are you enjoying the (music, band, show, etc) so far?”
“I was till you started talking geez!”

10. “What do you suggest I order (for food or drink)?”
“I don’t know I’m poor and here for the free breadsticks and water…then I”m going to dine and dash.”

11. “This music is really good. Do you know the name of the musician?”
“No, sorry. I’m not dating them, and well I don’t really have a lot of respect for groupies”

12. “Oh, so you’re a fan of ____?” This conversation opener works well if you see him browsing in a book store, or a video store, etc.
“No, I’m just in here ducking from the police, so keep talking to me, because they’re looking for a single white male, not a couple…”

13. “Are you here alone? You can join me/us.” This is good at events or if you see him looking for a place to sit at a bar.
“Why? Didn’t you bring enough money to pay for your own drinks?”

14. “Could you help me find my way back to ____?” This one is perfect for when you are at a function and you want to him to help you find your way back to the highway, even when you know where you are going.
“I’m so glad you’re lost! Give me your purse, and all your jewelry you foolish tourist!”

15. “Excuse me, where did you buy that (shirt, watch, tie, etc)?” This will make him feel good, but you have to let him know that you are looking to buy something similar for your brother or cousin.
“I didn’t my partner bought them for me, before his sexual reassignment surgery, I’ll let you ask her when she gets here.”

16. “Could you help me with (insert whatever you think you need help with)?” Men feel good when you ask them for help. They love to jump in and rescue a damsel in distress.
“No. No I can’t” then turn abruptly and walk away.

17. “You look like the kind of guy who might know this”. And make sure you ask him something you think he might know.
“and you look like the kind of girl that has an hourly rate!”

18. “What do you think of this dress?” Chances are, this question will result in a compliment as well as a conversation.
“Well if you like it, that is all that really matters isn’t it?”

19. “Mind if I sit here for a bit?” This has a built-in escape if the conversation doesn’t go well since “a bit” isn’t really a definite time frame.
“Sure, I was just leaving.”

20. “Did you see that thing on television last night?” This is a perfect question when there is a big world news or something that happened locally and has filled the airwaves.
“I don’t watch television or own a tv. I think that is a tool by the government to control the minds of the weak and impressionable… though I can tell by your blank stare, that you are already fully and completely brainwashed.”

It is okay to feel that the guy you want to talk to may not respond to you, but once you try these conversation openers a few times you will quickly start feeling confident about using them, or variations of what I have listed above. The key is to be creative and have fun with it.

And since after all, we can’t leave the men out in their perpetual need to capture a woman whether for life or just for the evening… though the women get 20 us men only get 4… maybe it’s because we have short attention spans, or tend to just try the first one’s in the list, and would never make it that far down the list, or hell…. maybe we’re just idiots… who knows… but just so we’re all clear… this list of four was written by a woman… heh, so that in and of itself should be a decent enough explanation

Meeting women is one of the biggest challenges to guys in the dating scene. Now matter how many positive qualities you display, you must learn to approach women and engage them in a conversation. If you know great conversation starters, then you’ll instantly create an engaging discussion.

So if you’re interested in attracting the women you see, then I recommend you use the following great conversation starters.

1- Use normal approach techniques

Let me emphasis ONE thing…

Pick-up lines NEVER work!

Instead of attempting to use a canned pick up line, it’s important to use a more natural approach. In fact, it’s often better to use a direct approach to start talking to women. This means if you’re interested in a woman and want to talk to her, all you have to do is simply introduce yourself. Then you allow the discussion to unfold.

What’s funny is many guys are looking for the perfect conversation starter. However the simple truth is a great way to talk to a woman is to just use a natural approach. If you have confidence and avoid the pickup lines used by other guys, then you’ll impress her with your straightforward manner.

2- Use the cocky/funny approach

Being humorous with a touch of arrogance is my personal favorite of these great conversation starters. Specifically this approach is often called “cocky/funny”.

Made famous by seduction guru David DeAngelo, the cocky/funny technique involves approaching a woman with a slightly arrogant manner while demonstrating a funny personality which gets her to laugh. The purpose behind this technique is to give yourself higher status and make HER work for YOUR attention.

Cocky/funny is a fun way to approach a woman because you come in with high energy and instantly provide her with excitement. Then all you have to do is let the conversation evolve into sexual banter.

3- Use a complimentary comment

Great conversation starters can often be initiated by simply complimenting a woman. Unlike corny pickup lines, a nice comment is well-thought out and shows tact.

Just remember one thing. When you compliment a woman, ALWAYS focus on something instead of her looks. The goal is to start a conversation by giving a genuine compliment on something she can control like the way she dresses or her personality. By doing this, you’re demonstrating that you pay attention and you like her UNIQUE personality.

4- Use a situational conversation starter

The final way to initiate a conversation is to use a ’situational opener’. This technique involves using specific incident as a reason to start talking to a woman. It involves seeing something interesting around you and then casually using it to parlay into a conversation with a woman.

For instance, say you witness a really drunk guy making a jerk of himself. You can use this incident to start talking to girls who are near this guy.

All four of these great conversation starters provide a wonderful way to start talking to a woman. Since each provides a natural to approach a girl, you won’t trigger her defense mechanisms like you would with a canned pick up line. Now all you have to is get out there and use them on women you’re interested in.

Well folks… have fun reading this stuff, and I hope that you at least gained a chuckle out of this, as much as I did

Have a good weekend and don’t forget to follow whatever 12 step program you use to make it through life

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